


Not So Happy Nuclear Livin'

by akaKarma



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Death, Emotional Hurt, Emotions, F/M, Feral Ghoul, Feral Hancock, Fluff, Ghoulism, Ghouls, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Light Masochism, Loss, Miscarriage, Outdoor Sex, Post-Canon, Public Sex, Rape, Relationship(s), Romance, Sequel, Smut, Super Mutant Rape, hardcore angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:42:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9105130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akaKarma/pseuds/akaKarma
Summary: This story is sequel to my other fic 'Happy Nuclear Livin' and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ IT before reading this. While last time we explored fluffy, romantic side of Hancock's and sole survivor June's relationship, now's the time for some heart breaking angst because not all nuclear living is so happy...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be fooled by fluffy beginning, it's just the start... ;}  
> No seriously. There are some fucked up heart-breaking things in there, so read with caution, SEE TAGS. It has happy ending though, don't worry.

It was one of those days. All the responsibilities were taken care of - June's and Hancock's alike, so they did what they used to do since they found the place - they travelled to the Spectacle Island. Such inconvinient name for beautiful place like that, June thought when they first arrived. She loved it there from the first minute and Hancock did too. From that moment, every time they had some free time, they went there and worked on repairing the old house on top of the hill.  
  
They both felt like it could be place to grow old and die, only if Hancock could grow old, of course. But these were problems of future, now everything seemed flawless.  
  
"It's startin' to look real good," Hancock made few steps back and looked at the house with his hands proudly akimbo. "Not as good as you though," he grinned while looking at June in her soft gray shirt dirty from the paint. She turned to him with a smile.  
  
"Well you could also put that coat away more often. You have great figure to show off," she teased him playfully. It was nice to see Hancock in something else than that typical red coat and June was happy he felt confident enough around her. He also looked pretty sexy in that light, almost see through white chemise. With his hat on top, he looked almost like a pirate and June sure loved that.  
  
"I ain't wearing it all the time," he walked to her while faking aggrieved tone.  
  
"Yeah you do," June chuckled and continue painting even though John grabbed her by the waist from the back and rested his chin on her shoulder.  
  
She smiled when she felt his hand going down, caressing her still pretty small, but already growing belly.  
  
"He's gonna love it here," he smiled. Hancock seemed genuinely, honestly happy in that moment, and he was.    
  
"How'd you know it's he?" June chuckled. "It may be girl. I would welcome that, I always wanted girl," she smiled. Just talking about it brought back so many happy memories. "My mother was convinced Shaun will be girl till the last moments. It was this japanese method of counting birth months of mother and father and then you got the gender of your kid somehow," she shook her head with disbelief - it still seemed stupid to her but now... she couldn't help but feel nostalgic for her supersticious mother and grumpy father.  
  
"Oh, you from Japan?" Hancock seemed intrigued. "Explains all that beauty," he continued with teasing and flirting. He was in the mood, she could tell. "I never dared to ask you, seemed... kinda rude."  
  
"It's not rude," June giggled and still tried to continue paint the wall but with the way Hancock was hugging her and fact they started to talk, she expected the work to be done for the day. Every time Hancock and she started to speak about something, they realized five hours passed and it felt just like one. "Me and Nate wanted to visit my patents in Japan, actually. We would go there... five weeks after the nukes. But that... didn't worked out," she looked down.  
  
"Come on, Sunshine. You know I hate seein' you sad like this. You don't wanna me tickle you to death, do you?" Hancock giggled like a excited kid.  
  
"Oh no no no, you monster!" June jumped out of his grip and made a step away from him with wide smile and the paintbrush in her hand as a weapon. "Should've never let you figure that out. Now you'll always blackmail me with it!" she tried to run away from Hancock but he kept jumping in her way, incredibly enjoying it.  
  
"Aw, I ain't blackmailin' you, love. I'm just warnin' you from big bad Tickle Monster, that all," Hancock grinned and before June realized it, he jumped on her and picked her up. He wasn't the only fast bastard around though and so June used her quick reflexes and managed to catch onto a branch from that big nice three that was right next to the house, with broken swing on it.  
  
They both fell down on the ground like a pile of stones and started laughting.  
  
   
  
"Mmmm... Wanna do it here, sunshine?" he sneered goofily but still managed to sound unbearably sexy, kneeling above her with that devilish spark in his eyes.  
  
"Are you crazy?" she bursted out laughting.  
  
"Why not?" Oh lord, he was really serious. "Didn't you get knocked up with Shaun at the park? You told me when you were high, remember? We don't have to worry 'bout that anymore, so...."  
  
June chuckled.  
  
"Yeah. And how did that ended up," she said bitterly. She was still coping with what happened to Shaun but... it was already so much better. Thanks to Hancock, thanks to the new life she was carrying and yeah, probably even thanks to not so real Shaun who she started to actually love like her own. June didn't felt regret - she knew that she did a right thing. Maybe she blew up whole "future of mankind" into the sky but they were just not what she wanted that future to be. And Shaun was not what she wanted him to be. Of course, that was no reason to just murder him but there was no other way, really. With everything that happened and everyone pushing her from all sides... Yeah - she didn't regretted it. But she still lost a child. She was just so happy she was able to gain another. Well, another two, technically.  
  
"Hey? Are you listenin' to me, J?"  
  
"I am. Sorry," she quickly looked up and smiled. "Maybe you're right, we're just... on the highest hill around and someone could easily walk on us, I mean..."  
  
"Uuugh come on! Settlers are all workin' on the crops at the other side of island. We never had sex here - if this is supposed to be our new home, let's defile the place a little," he licked his lips which showed June that he's pretty damn horny and probably won't budge on this idea. So she just viciously smiled and with sigh gave him a nod. It wasn't like she didn't wanted him. Or that she was new to the idea of having sex outside. Sure, Nate was first one to ever make her do that, but it was no suprise she found another lunatic. It was probably her kind of luck on men...  
  
Hancock immediatelly started kissing her and moved his hands all over her body, like he hasn't touched her for ages. It wasn't that long but they were kind of careful after finding out June's pregnant - as the doctor said, it was incredibly unlikely and they were lucky but due to the Hancock's sperm being radiated he had to tell them that realistically, they shouldn't get their hopes too high.  
  
So they calmed down for a bit for few weeks but now it started to show that as June can't live without venturing out on the missions, Hancock can't live without her body, her closeness, showing her how much he loves her.  
  
"I wanna be in you so bad," he whispered to her ear and slightly bit it, his body lusting for the taste of her skin and her beautiful smell. His breath was hot and smelled like mint. Hancock was eating packs and packs of mint bubblegum these past few weeks as he tried to support June by pausing with chems like she had to. She found it so incredibly sweet of him and loved him for it.  
  
"I know... I can feel it," she bit her lip with a smirk and squeezed his already pretty hard member through his pants, which was enough for him to make another move. Hancock took June under her butt and moved her closer to the three so she leaned on it with her back, spreading her legs for him.  
  
He didn't had patience for more preparation, he just swiftly opened his pants while squeezing June's breast and listening to her moans.  
  
"I love you so damn much," he blurted out as he pushed his hand between her thights while jerking himself off. June smiled and opened her legs more and his fingers nicely slipped inside her, making her moan even more. "Ugh... These fucking sounds, J. You're makin' me crazy."  
  
"I'm trying," she chuckled and moved herself closer, holding Hancock over his shoulders to have firm grip.  
  
When he felt she's wet enough, he still spit on his hand a little just to be sure to not hurt her and slowly pushed himself into her.  
  
"Ugh, John," she moaned sweetly, leaning her head back and opening her mouth wide. Oh how crazy it was making John when she said his name like that. It was strangely something so... intimate for him. Most people called him Hancock and alrough that was what he became it was still not entirely his true self, his true name, and altrough some of his friends called him John, from her, it was like she spoke right to his soul.  
  
He started moving, more carefuly than usual, but still only as slow his poor self control allowed him to.  
  
"More, darlin'. Say it more," his voice was getting more and more rough, colored with lust.  
  
"John," she pushed her nails deep into his back and shoulder when he fucked her deeper, making slow, heartfelt thrusts.  
  
"Shit," he moaned quietly through his teeth. June smiled.  
  
"Oh John John John, so it's really true, huh?" She whispered in his ear with vicious tone and he had to look at her with confusion. And oh how she looked at him. "I noticed. Few times I scratched your back a little to much when we had sex... Your whole body always shivers. You like it... You like a little hurtin', don't you?" she softly touched his ear with her lips and digged her nails deeper into his back.  
  
Hancock arched above her like a bow and cried out. Yeah - that was just perfect as an answer.  
  
"Why'd you hide that from me, love?" Her tone softened.  
  
"I didn't, it's just... Didn't wanted you to think it... weird," he grinned a little, realizing that probably everything about them is weird.  
  
"Aaaw, come on," she petted his head with cute giggle. "You really thought I would find this weird? It's just a little pain, it's arousing for you, I get it."  
  
"When you're ghoul you're... in a pain a lot so I guess my body got used to it and I started ignoring it and then when it's pain I like I... well, _like it_ ," he watched her carefully with those black eyes, happy she understands but still a little causious.  
  
"As I said love," she kissed him and then remained with her lips touching his, one hand wrapped around his neck, holding his head, and other still on his back. "I understand." As she finished, June pushed him deeper inside her with her legs wrapped around him and at the same moment squeezed her hand again, making him groan.  
  
"I know you do," Hancock purred, happily and excitedly. "You always do, my Sunshine. You aaaalways do..."  
  
 

♦️

  
   
  
Week after that, Hancock was back in Goodneighbor, to give his people a little reminder who's still in charge, check on everything and make sure things are going right. And maybe, just maybe, to have a little chem break without June knowing. She knew he's probably doing chems behind her back anyways and she didn't mind, because in her mind, everything was great. For the first time in forever, things were maybe a little too good - Minutemen had probably every settlement in Commonwealth under their protection and everything was fine, supply lines were working great and people were happy.  
  
June went to the Diamond City with Shaun to show him around - he was so excited to see settlement so big with so many people. It reminded him of the Institute, altough June wasn't sure what exactly he remembers from there. She haven't asked. All she wanted was for him to be a normal boy... just as real Shaun wanted. There was gonna be time when she'll tell him, but that time was not now. Now, his only worries were how to impress Nat who he grow to be quite fond of and what wonderful machine he'll build next with the junk June brings him.  
  
"Why are there no ghouls here, mom?" Shaun asked as they walked through the market.  
  
"Well... Last Mayor made a rule that no ghouls can live in Diamond city," she said with sad tone. "People were scared of them so he just used that fear for his own benefit. That's what there is Hancock and Goodneighbor for now. All the people that are not accepted here... can go at least there."  
  
"That's _really_ evil thing to do," Shaun frowned.  
  
"I know. It was horrible thing to do, yes. Maybe it will change for better one day. For now, this it how things are around here..."  
  
"Blue!" They heard someone yelling at them, and that someone was nobody else but Piper.  
  
"Look who's finally here. We've been walking around for ages, waiting for you," they walked to the doors of her office.  
  
"Sorry Blue, sorry! I've been tryin' to find this guy for an interview. Ugh, I almost had him!" Piper angrily clenched her fists. "I don't know why he keeps running from me!"  
  
"Well, I might have some idea..." June grinned and made Shaun giggle. He understood sarcasm better than he should for his age.  
  
"Alright, alright. Come on, let's go inside. Nat should be waiting, I told her to clean the place when we have a visit," she came to Shaun with her wide smile and tousled his hair. "Hey little guy. You ready for the best sleepover of your life? We'll show you all over Diamon City tomorrow."  
  
"I can't wait," Shaun said excitedly, clenching his backpack. "Thanks, mum. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he turned to June and hugged her. She just nodded with a smile, then looked thankfully at Piper and watched them both go inside. It was good for Shaun to be around someone of his age. June knew he's happy with her, but being around Sanctuary all day with nothing to do, constantly around people talking about guns and Raiders and other serious stuff - that wasn't good for a kid, synth or not. Sleepover with Piper and Nat was probably exactly what he needed.  
  
   
  
There were some things June had to take care of, so she welcomed the free time.  
  
She kept recieving this signal coming straight to her Pip-Boy for a few days in a row now. She already took it to the Tinker Tom and he managed to puzzle out word "help" from those strange beeps. It was probably nothing, there were more important things to take care of, but June had this feeling she should look for the source of the signal and find out what's it about, so that's what she decided to go. It was close to Diamond city, in relatively safe part of Commonwealth, so she wasn't too worried. She knew that Hancock would love to just tie her to a pipe and don't allow her to step foot from Sanctuary, Goodneighbor or Spectacle Island but he was just too worried. She knew how to take care of herself and she was extremely cautious, especially with the baby.  
  
After buying some noodles from Takahashi to satisfy her cravings, June headed out to the place on the map the signal came from. Southwest from Diamon City, there was nothing much but plains and destroyed forest there but if anyone needed help, maybe that was the reason why they couldn't get it - most of the people didn't saw reason to go there. It took a while, till it was almost dark, until June got closer to the signal. Her Pip-Boy was beeping as a sign that she's close and that was when she saw old Scrap Palace in front of her. She'd never been there but heard something about Super Mutants living there, so she got careful. Usually, she wouldn't go to the place like this alone but everyting seemed fine. No signs of the Mutants, or anyone in that matter.  
  
June slowly walked closer to the main building with gun in her hand, looking around. It was quiet... strangely quiet. Maybe someone already cleared the Mutants out, she thought and carefully opened the main door.  
  
When she saw person just sitting the on a crate and looking into the ground, she tensed and aimed up but... whoever it was, they weren't hostile.  
  
"Hello? Are you alright?" she was making slow, carefull steps closer and closer to the person. It was a man, tanner, shaved black hair, dressed in old rags. When she was close enough, he finally looked up which made June step back again. He looked... strange. June wasn't able to put he finger on what exactly doesn't sit with him.  
  
"I'm glad you're finally here," he said with a mindless tone.  
  
"Do we know each other?" she confusedly frowned and quickly looked around. It started to seem like a trap but... Who would have done it? Raiders weren't organized and smart enough for this, not to mention every Raider she came across was dead so there was no way they could want a revenge. There really wasn't much people that came to her mind.  
  
"Yes. Well... You knew the real me. You probably already forgot. I was just another casualty for you..." he was speaking in this desperate, gloomy voice that gave June chills. Who was he talking about? Real me? That meant... he's a synth? She tried to remember. She tried to remember who he might be. "You must have been happy, knowing I ended my life because of you. Just one more conveniently tied end..."  
  
   
  
"Liam?" she blurted out. No, it couldn't be Liam. Liam, the Patriot, he killed himself, she saw his body, she red his letter, he... "What..."  
  
"I see you remember," he smiled a little but that made her even more uncomfortable. Now it was like she was hearing his voice. It really was him, something... something about him was the same, just his body was different. "I may have been unable to live with what happened, but did you really thought I would just give up? Without getting justice?"  
  
"How's... this possible?" June gulped.  
  
"Before I killed myself, I transfered my memories and thoughts into this synth. You could say I'm still alive... Just in a different form. Stronger, better. I spend all this time thinking about ways to repay you for what you've done. I thought about going after you and killing you in your sleep but... the more I thought about it, I realized that would be just the easy way. Like you killed everyone at the Institute. You killed them and that's how it ended for them, but for us, for the people that remained... we were the ones to suffer."  
  
The more he talked, the more June felt her chest clutching, her heart tight and sore. She haven't thought about what she did in the Institute too much. It was still... something she wasn't sure how to feel about. She knew she did what she had to. Institute was only interested in it's own future and in the world filled with synths, not real people. Institute was future as much as Brotherhood or Railroad and she just made her choice. She knew people died but... there was no other way.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Liam," she decided to drop her gun and walk slowly to him. "I... I know I did something... wrong, but..."  
  
"What? You don't care. Since you stepped out of that Vault, all you care about is yourself. You walked over corpses to get to your son and when you found him and he wasn't as you expected, you decided to do what pleases you again. You decided to destroy only chance for humanity's future with all the people that devoted their lives to helping-"  
  
"I did what I thought was right! Things aren't as black and white as you think!" she tried to understand his sorrow but couldn't just stay there and listen to him say all that.  
  
"Well you did wrong," he stood up. "I was watching you, watching things you did and I realized... that taking something you care the most about, taking away your future is the only acceptable punishment. Only thing that can at least partially make up for everything you've done," his expression changed into something purely evil. June was ready to defend herself as he made step towards her but then she heard doors closing which made her inattentive enough for Liam to punch her before she turned her look back. With a groan, June fell to the ground, trying to garther up all her strenght and get herself together but her head was spinning and vision was all fuzzy. She heard heavy steps coming closer to her.

That meant only one thing...  
  
"Shit," she groaned and tried to reach out for her gun lying on the ground but just few inches from it, someone grabbed her hands and restrained them at her back, making her unable to do anything. June shook her head in another attempt to get her shit together and quickly tried to break from the grip. She heard the heavy breathing behind her, it was definitely Super Mutan who was holding her, but how?  
  
"I cleared this place from them. At first, I tried to agree on something but... Well, they are not exactly civilized. This one... I managed to put a chip in his head. He listens to me, most of the time. As I already said, at first he was meant to just break into your home and kill you, even if he should die in the process but then... I realized there are better ways." Liam stood before June with his hands behind his back and he looked... proud of what he had accomplished. There was no way that good guy she met in the Institute who tried to help free the Synths became... _this_. Did _she_ created him? Was this all really her fault?  
  
"Please..." June desperately lowered her voice as she began to realize she's not gonna get out of this and that she's not the only one in danger. "Please, just-"  
  
"I watched you and your ghoul... living happy life, raising copy of son you killed. That ends now. You need to pay for what you did to all of us, what you did to the future, to me and to the Father. He always spoke so highly of you... Before he knew you betrayed him, he was.. excited about your arrival. He really thought his mother is coming back, mother he never had. But you... you shouldn't be a mother." The way he said it, the cruelty in his voice, pushed tears into June's eyes. She just managed to whisper quiet 'please' before Liam nodded at the Mutant and he brutally put her to the ground, pressing her against the concrete. There was still some fight in her, she wasn't ready to give up so she tried to move but the big, green hands were holding her tight, tighter and tighter, until she screamed from pain as the Mutant crushed her arm.  
  
"Not move," he grunted.  
  
"Code green," she heard Liam's firm voice and right when he said it, Super Mutant winced, like something clicked in him. After that, while holding June's hands behind her back with one of his hands, he began to swiftly and ruffiantly tear her pants down. Realization of what's about to happen hit her like a wrecking ball, making her heart beat like crazy and turning her stomach upside down.  
  
"No! No, no no no, Liam, please!" she screamed and desperately tried to cut out of the grip but there was no way. "This is insanity, you have to stop this! I am sorry, Liam! I can't take it back, I'm sorry!" her mind was thrown into chaos and all she was able to think about was that she has to protect the baby, she has to get out. "Please!"  
  
He wasn't responding. He was just standing there, watching her as the Mutant held her like a helpless prey and did as he pleased with her.  
  
"Quiet, human," he pushed her more to the ground, making it hard for her to even breathe. Then, he took his sickening, mutated genitals and started pushing it into June. There was no way it was going to fit, not without tearing her apart. She screamed from the top of her lungs, black hair slipping from her ponytail and sticking to her face as tears rolled over her cheeks. She tried to fight, somehow, she tried to do at least anything but couldn't. After everything she accomplished, after getting out of the Vaul and getting so far and doing so much, she was powerless now. Left to this beast controlled by that maniac. There was nobody around to hear her scream. There was nobody around because she was stupid and reckless and went alone. It was all her fault, at least that's what thoughts in her head began to say. It was all fault Liam turned batshit crazy and went for revenge, it was her fault she went alone, it was her fault that...  
  
"Please!" she groaned when she felt sharp pain in her abdoman. Everything was hot and sticky and so painful. "Stop it, Liam!"  
  
"Oh I won't stop. There's no stopping now..."  
  
"You're fucking crazy!" June couldn't help it. After what he did, there was no way she's gonna try to convince him. All she wanted to do now was to fucking kill him. She finally lifted her head up to see him, her face red, wet from tears and sweat but before she had a chance to spit on him, he saw the courage waking up in her and whistled at the Mutant. June felt like she blacked out for a second from all the pain that was going through her body as the Mutant trusted into her brutally. She felt blood dripping from her, but the rest felt numb. After a while, June wasn't able to tell how long is it all taking. Was he doing it ten minutes? Five? Half an hour? Three hours? She got into this trance, helping her cope with the hideous situation she was in, so she just laid there, blankly staring into the ground with her face pressed to it, not even feeling rest of hr body, her mind empty and still.  
  
   
  
Some time after that, she blinked and realized she's just lying there, her hands free but numb and weak.  
  
Liam was sitting next to her.  
  
"Do you feel it? Do you feel what I felt when you killed them?" he looked at her curiously, studying her face.  
  
Sharp pain coming from her abdoman and lap was all she could think about. She fetl so weak and defeated she thought maybe she could just lie here until molerats find her and end it. Maybe she could just... give up now, never getting up.  
  
"I believe you do," Liam took her cheek into his palm and wiped the tears from June's cheek. "After all of this... I see that humanity has no future... We don't deserve a future," he disappointedly frowned and stood up. She saw him walk to the gun on the ground, picking it up and shooting the Super Mutant in the head. When he fell to the ground, Liam looked at June and turned the gun to himself. "This is the future you wanted... Have it then. It's all yours," he said before finally pulling the trigger.  
  
When he did, June felt nothing. No satisfaction, no sorrow, no anger, just... nothing.  
  
   
  
She had no idea how long she laid there. Maybe it was just few hours. There was no reason to get up, really. At least not until she realized that... Hancock's still there.  
  
Hancock.  
  
She moved for the first time and immediately regretted it as the pain began pulsing through her whole body again and more intensively. She felt so... disgusting, so dirty. Not just from the blood and sweat. Her legs were almost lifeless, her whole body was so incredibly exhausted that for a moment, she was worried that she won't be able to get up. After few minutes of trying, she finally did. Just kneeling above the ground made her whole body tremble but with that scarred, ugly face she loved in her mind, she made herself stand up. Short of breath and feeling like she'll black out any minute, June managed to limp to the door.  
  
She had to get to Hancock.  
  
With every single step feeling like her last, she continue just like that - always convincing herself she can make another one, and just one more, and then next one... At some point, she started weeping and then she got herself together again and just walked and walked until she collapsed somewhere near Oberland Station where she was found by the Settlers. They immediately send for help, letting Preston and Hancock know. They already worried about June just dissapearing for hours so Hancock was there immediately. She woke up few times while being moved to Diamond City - everyone felt like she had chance for best medical help there and it was the closest. Hancock spoke to her for the whole time but all he got was few drowsy looks and June whispering his name here and there. When she was finally at doctor Sun's, he gave her infusion and some pills and let her sleep for few more hours.  
  
 

  
♦

  
   
  
It was already next morning, when June finally opened her eyes, lying on the bed with Hancock sleeping with his head next to her, sitting on the chair. For a moment there she... couldn't remember what happened but when she did, her whole body shivered and she felt sick from her stomach.  
  
"June!" Preston suprisingly looked up from a magazine, sitting on the sofa on the other side of small room she was in. "She's awake!" he jumped up and shouted to the door. Doctor Sun, Piper and Fahrenheit all ran to the room while Hancock confusedly woke up next to her.  
  
"Oh my. That's good," Dr. Sun said happily sighted. "I was beginning to worry."  
  
"J-June?" Hancock's broken voice made her look right at him. He looked... so tired and worried. "June, my- Shit, June," he eagerly kissed her on a cheek and held her for a moment. "I was so... damn worried, my god..." It was so strange to hear Hancock's usually firm voice so shaky and weak. It actually made her feel even worse. He must have been going crazy worrying about her, she knew he was.  
  
"Blue...? Are you... How are you feeling?" Piper came closer to the bed and carefully smiled.  
  
"I..."  
  
"It's alright. It's alright, you need to... You need to rest," Hancock immediately stepped up and took her hand. "You don't need to do or say anythin' until... you feel like to."  
  
June looked tiredly at the Doctor. She still felt confused and exhausted, her mind was worn out, dizzy.  
  
"I want to... speak with the Doctor," she said, trying to make her voice at least slightly stable. "Just... the three of us," she fleetingly looked at Hancock and then on Dr. Sun. Everyone nervously stepped back and quickly nodded, immediately leaving the room, leaving them alone. Doctor Sun closed the door and slowly walked to the bed.  
  
"I haven't... made any further examination since you came here, because of your state... Everyone thought it's better to let you rest and garther your strenght first. The bleeding seems to be stopped, you... I stitched you and put you on the infusion to help your body recover..." Dr. Sun was acting a lot more gentle than usually and she welcomed that.  
  
"What about the baby?" June asked straight away, ignoring his stupid avoiding the topic. He faltered and hardly swallowed.  
  
"I couldn't.... find any signs of life when I looked... We can check again, we... we will, we will look again but..." He wasn't giving them much chances, huh? In fact, he was probably just avoiding telling them the hard truth, June knew. Her eyes were empty as she looked into the wall, playing everyting that happened in her head. There was no way they were just... gone. That person in her. They couldn't...  
  
"But... there must be some... way, right? There's chance the baby's okay, right doc?" Hancock finally managed to speak, shielding himself with blind, naive optimism. June just painfully closed her eyes. It's gonna destroy Hancock, it's gonna kill him, she knew.  
  
"I... I can't... We'll check but..."  
  
"So check right now, doc! What if they need your help or-"  
  
"John," June said quietly, her voice shaking.  
  
"No, you ain't just givin' up," he turned to June with anger in his voice. "You ain't just giving up on them, June! Come on, we... we ain't normal, we're fucking extraordinary, we're special - this baby is gonna be special, they're gonna be alright, you'll see." Oh god, he wasn't giving up, he wasn't going to admit it.  
  
   
  
"Just... Just check on me, doc," she finally spoke out, tired and hopeless. She already knew the thruth, she felt it. She knew the baby is gone, that the monster took it from her.  
  
"A-Are you sure? We... can wait."  
  
"I'm sure, doc," June garthered all of her courage and strenght and firmly nodded. Hancock was still sitting next to her while doctor prepared his gloves and other instruments. After that, he carefully lifted blanket under which June was lying and she spreaded her legs for him. She tried to hide it, but Hancock couldn't miss the pain in her face when she did it. The wounds were still too frest, physical ones and the mental ones alike. He checked her enterance, carefully examining her stitched up wounds. They were ugly and definitely painful but not infected, that was good. After that, Sun brought old ultrasound, prewar piece he got as a present from one of his patients. It was barely working, but still served it's purpose. He moved around June's belly for a while, without saying a word. Hancock was tensely watching but June already knew so she just held back tears and stared into the distance, waiting for him to say it.  
  
"I..." Sun sighted, staying quiet for a moment as he tried to prepare himself for saying something like that out loud. "I'm sorry but I don't hear or see any activity. The baby's there but..."  
  
June squeezed Hancock's hand and took a deep breath, trying to keep herself together.  
  
"It's alright, John," she whispered with shaky voice.  
  
"Wh... No," he jerked away from her grip. "You're wrong, you have to check again, you-"  
  
"I am truly sorry," Sun looked at June and then back at Hancock. "I... the intrusion was... to strong, the... There's nothing I can do, sorry."  
  
"I't okay, doc..."  
  
"What are you saying?!" Hancock turned to June desperately, feeling almost betrayed that she just gave up like that, without fighting.  
  
"I'm sorry, John," tears started escaping her tightly closed eyes as she couldn't take it anymore. He was still trying but there was nothing they could do. It was done. They were gone, the baby was gone. "Please, just... just accept it," she sobbed. Hancock stared at her, still unable to process the trauma, his mind trying to convince him there's no way all of this is true. "I'm... I still need to... The baby still needs to be _born_ , r-right, doc?" she said it through her clenched teeth.  
  
Dread on Hancock's face was maybe as strong as the one on Sun's at that moment.  
  
"I... Y-Yes, but that's... We can definitely wait, you don't have to-"  
  
"I need to."  
  
"June..." Hancock gasped.  
  
"Please, you have to go, John. P-Please, just... wait outside, okay?" she turned to him with warmest smile she was able to muster in that moment. He wanted to oppose but June stopped him. "John! Please. Wait outside," she looked him straight into his eyes and hoped he'll understand that she needs it. He didn't wanted to but Hancock knew he needs to respect her wish, so he slowly backed away from the bed and after giving her last, painful look, left the room. What was going to happen afterwards wasn't something June wanted Hancock to see, or anyone. She saw on doctor Sun that it was hard enough for him. It wasn't first time he gave birth, but it was his first time inducing labor and bringing miscarriaged baby into the world. June accepted some faint calming drug to help her from the worst, making her numb and dizzy enough for the main event itself not being as traumatizing.  
  
When the labor was finally done, Dr. Sun hesitantly held the little baby in his hands, not sure what to do.  
  
"Would you... Do you want to see him?" his voice was shaking as he tried to keep himself together. June looked at him, still a little sleepy and dizzy.  
  
"It's a boy?" she raised her eyebrows and for a moment, she felt this spark of joy like she really got real, healthy baby.  
  
"Y-Yes. Yes, I'm... I'm sorry..."  
  
So he was right. Hancock... was right. It was a boy.  
  
"Give him to me," she decided. Maybe it was a mistake. She was worried she won't be able to let him go but... there was no way she's not gonna see him.  
  
"O-Okay, let me just warn you that... he may not look as a normal baby, it's... mostly likely caused by the fact that the... biological father is um... you know, ghoul," Sun tried to wrap the reality somehow so June isn't too shocked when she sees him, but she just quickly nodded and reached for the baby with her hands. When he got up, she was finally able to see that little fetus, already starting to look like a tiny human. He was almost fifteen weeks old, so he still looked like a little alien. When she took him into her arms, June noticed odd, unhealthy shape of his head and strangely colored spots all over his body. She held back the tears, clutching him closer to her chest. "I don't... I don't know if it'll make you feel better but... judging by the baby's development there would be... very high chance of miscarriage regardless. It's... a miracle it developed until this stage, with the radiation that was... present from the beginning."  
  
June sobbed and kissed the baby with closed eyes.  
  
"C-Can you... Can you bring him back?" she asked the doctor and it took him a moment before he realized she doesn't mean the baby but Hacock.  
  
"Of course. Of course," he nodded and quickly went to the door. Everyone was waiting behind them, sitting on the floor. When Sun looked at Hancock, he immediately jumped up, his face white as a wall and eyes lifeless like he hasn't slept in ages. He slowly walked to the bed and when he noticed June holding the tiny little human, his body froze with fear, pain and hurt. John Hancock was sure nobody ever saw him cry but in that moment, he almost bursted into tears, putting hand over his face to hide from June so she doesn't have to see him. Her eyes were so soft and loving when she looked at him, almost like he was the one who just went throught all that hell, like he was the one who needed consolation. Sun carefully sneaked out of the room, giving them much needed privacy.  
  
Hancock knelt by the bed and kissed June into greasy, wet hair, slowly reaching his other hand to the baby. He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream his lungs out because of the helplessness he felt, because of the guilt and anger and pain inside him. He was right to think he can't have all of this. He knew it's oh so naive to think he'll have his beautiful wife and baby - he, ghoul, John McDonough. There was no way.  
  
"I'm so sorry," he cried out and burried his head in June's chest, making her sob too. "So sorry..."  
  
"Shhh," she grabbed John by his shoulders and pushed him closer to her. "It's... It's okay." She felt like minutes before break-down but she couldn't. She couldn't just fall apart, she couldn't do it to him and to Shaun and to everyone else. People depended on her, people cared for he. She couldn't just give up. "It's gonna be okay..." she whispered as John sobbed and cried, letting everything out...  
  
 

  
♦

  
   
  
It felt like time completely stopped in the lives of everyone involved. June was still in the bed, on the recommendation of Dr. Sun. He told she it would be best if she just stayed there and rested for a while and she haven't felt like running around anyways. Her body and spirit were weak and she just needed time...  
  
After Hancock left, everyone else came in to support her. He ordered Fahrenheit to guard the door no matter what and Preston sent for Shaun to come too. He laid in bed with June, letting her hug him tightly. In that moment, she couldn't care less if Shaun is synth or not, he was exactly what she needed, to just hold her breathing, living son in her arms, knowing he's okay. Shaun was quiet and patient, quietly humming some calming melody while being there with his mother. After Preston assured her that he'll take care of everything regarding Minutemen even if he needs to do it all by himself, he left and only one who stayed was Piper.  
  
"Are you feeling better?" she caressed June's forehead and moved some of her disheveled hair out of her face.  
  
"Yes..." she said quietly and looked around the room.  
  
"Shaun's outside. Fahrenheit's giving him something to eat, he would starve just to be here with you..." Piper chuckled. She felt so incredibly sorry for her friend, but she also knew she needs to be the one to try to lighten the mood, not just pitty her, that doesn't help everything. June smiled a little because she knew how true that is. Shaun was a sweet boy. No matter if he was born sweet or programmed to be that way. "Look, Blue, I'm just... I'm just a little worried about Hancock."  
  
"W-Why?" June quickly looked up to Piper.  
  
"I don't know, he's... he's been just sitting there staring into nothing for hours with this face like he's... Ugh. Is there something I can do for him? He doesn't listen to anyone trying to talk," Piper sighted. She grew to like Hancock, especially when she saw his good, gentle side when he was around June, and the fact how much he loved her. "I'm sorry I shouldn't... borther you with it. You need to rest and relax. I'll take care of him, okay?" she clumsily stood up. June wanted to argue but upon realizing she's too tired to deal with it just sighted.  
  
"Please, just... Can you ask Shaun to speak with him? They... Somehow, they understand each other."  
  
"Sure, Blue. Of course. Now rest, okay?" Piper clenched June's hand for a brief moment and then left the room, leaving her alone. Without even realizing it, June fell asleep. It was only thing that helped her mind cope and heal - sleeping. It was the same after she got out of the Vault. She would think about Nate all the time and felt horrible but then, when she went to sleep, all she did was dream about him and beautiful life they could have had. And it helped, most of the time. After that, June found another cure - Hancock. Her feelings for him helped patch holes in her heart and fill it with love again. Now... She knew she still has Hancock. With him... They can overcome anything.  
  
   
  
It was next evening when June woke up again.  
  
Sun was shinning into the room through open door. She felt... much better than day before. She felt a little lighter and stronger. After turning he head to the left, she saw Fahrenheit talking with someone in the door and Shaun standing behind them, watching their conversation with anxious face. What was happening?  
  
She sat up and just yelped because of the pain between her legs. That was the only and worst part, everything else seemed good. Fahrenheit immediately noticed her and stopped talking. Whatever she was talking about, it seemed that for some reason, she didn't wanted June to hear it. After saying few quick words to the person that was there with her, she came into the room.  
  
"Feeling better? You slept a lot, doc said it's a good sign." She tried to sound normal, but June saw there's something... off.  
  
"What's going on?" she studied her with her eyes.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Fahrenheit," June frowned and sounded a lot more serious, warning her. She may have been injured but that didn't meant she was... stupid, that didn't meant she will let people lie to her. "What is going on?"  
  
"It's... We just can't find Hancock. But we will, don't worry. He's probably lying somewhere, high or drunk, dealing with... all of this," Fahrenheit tried to play it cool but it was obvious she was worried about Hancock, and if someone knew him, it was her. That meant that if she sees a reason to worry about him, there _was_ a reason.  
  
"He didn't... said anything to anyone?"  
  
"No. He just left... Don't know when."  
  
"How long is it?"  
  
"Few hours. We need to... We just need to find him in case he'll do anything... stupid," she sighted with her arms folded on her chest. Everyone saw how messed up was Hancock by what happened. She never saw him broken like that, ever. And she saw him in a lot of pretty weird situations. "You don't stress too much 'bout it, okay? He ordered me to take care of ya, so I will. I'll deal with it, we'll find him," Fahrenheit looked at June with determined look and that might have been enough, but not for June. She nodded at bodyguard and let her leave but in her mind, she already decided to find Hancock herself. Just the idea he's somewhere by himself in the state he was in... She couldn't let that happen while lying in the bed like a sloth.  
  
"Shaun?" she noticed him, still standing in the door with suspiciously guilty expression. "Come here, baby."  
  
"T-They're gonna find Hancock, right?" he looked at her and seemed... scared.  
  
"Of course they will," June quickly reached out to him and caressed his cheek. "Don't worry. Do you remember what's the last thing Hancock told you? Something that could help us?" The more she looked at him, the more nervous Shaun seemed, until he desperately lowered his eyebrows and looked back at his mother with quilt in his eyes.  
  
"I-If I tell you, please promise you... you won't throw me away. Please." Fear in boy's eyes almost scared June. Where was that coming from?  
  
"W-What? Why would I leave you, Shaun? And where's Hancock?"  
  
"He... He talked about how he needs to find the place where... the bad people attacked you. He said he really needs to go there and I thought... that it will make him happier when I help him find out so I found the place through your Pip-Boy when you slept. I've... learned a lot of neat stuff about terminals while you were traveling around. Anyways, I... told him where that is and he told me to not tell anybody where he's going or I'll be in _big_ trouble," he quickly tried to explain everything, almost not finishing the sentences. "I'm sorry if I did something wrong, I'm really sorry, mum," he kept apologizing.  
  
June just stared at him for a moment.  
  
"T-That's... That's alright Shaun," she breathed out and took his hand. "Now we know where Hancock is, that's good."  
  
"Please, just... don't throw me away. I know I'm not a real boy, but I'm really trying to not make mistakes," he kept blurting out with that convincing tone. June froze when he said it, even more shocked, and couldn't find words for a moment.  
  
"Wh... Who told you that, Shaun? Who told you..."  
  
"That doesn't matter. I know I'm just a synth but I really love you, mum. I really do. I love Hancock too. I love everyone here."  
  
"Shaun! Who told you?!" June raised her voice, making the question loud and clear. She was still worried about Hancock but right now, she was more angry at whoever told that to Shaun. She was pretty clear about it - about not telling him until she decides it's the right time. Not many people knew. Hancock would have never told him, he wouldn't do that, so who did?  
  
"Y-You did," he whispered carefully and watched June's confused face.  
  
" _What?_ Me?"  
  
"One time when you were with Hancock in Goodneighbor, I was there with you, remember? Usually you don't take me there. I know you take chems and don't want me to see. It's okay. I... didn't listened and ran away from Daisy. I wanted to show you something. You were in Hancock's room together, lying on the floor and... When I came you told me to go away. You said to Hancock that... I shouldn't see you two like that even through I'm not real kid," Shaun nervously played with his fingers while looking into the ground when talking. Meanwhile June just stared at him - she didn't remembered any of that. Anything. Was she so high? Shit... Shit! "I went back and... couldn't stop thinking about it. So I asked Preston and when I did, he started acting real weird so I... made him tell me the truth. It wasn't his fault, really. I convinced him to tell me. I just... wanted to know the truth."  
  
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, June was screaming in her head.  
  
"I'm... I'm so sorry, Shaun, I... I wanted to tell you."  
  
"That's alright," he smiled right back at her. "I... still love you. Even if you don't like me like if I was your real son... you are still my mom, you'll always be."  
  
"I _love you_ , Shaun," June blurted out, grabbing him and pulling him close to her in a hug. "I love you so much and I don't... care if you're synth or not," she closed her eyes. Maybe at the beginning, she saw him as a copy, as a... consolation prize. But every day being with him made her feel closer and closer to him, to the son she never had until the line between 'real' and 'synth' just... dissapeared. "You're my Shaun. That's all that matters. Alright?" she took his cheeks into her hands and made him look at her. His eyes were watery, like he tried not to cry, but he quickly smiled and nodded. June kissed him on the forehead and with deep breath jumped out of the breath.  
  
The stitches between her legs were more painful and she expected and she could see some blood on the bed but... that wasn't important.  
  
"I'll go and find Hancock, okay? You just stay here, Shaun," she breathed out, getting used to pain. Yeah, it was nothing. Nothing she can't just ignore.  
  
"Okay, mum. I will bring you your things," Shaun cheered up and immediately ran away from June's clothes and guns. She tried to walk around the room a little in the meantime, until Fahrenheit stormed inside.  
  
"Why aren't you resting? You're supposed to be resting!" she wanted to scold June but when she saw her serious, strong expression, she stopped.  
  
"I know where Hancock is. He went... to the place where they did this to me. Scrap Palace."  
  
"B-But... You already told us - guy's dead."  
  
"I know, but... Maybe Hancock just needs to see him, maybe he... I don't know. His corpse's still there. All I know is that he went there alone and upset. If there are S-..." just saying that word brought all the memories of that incident back, so June quickly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Super Mutants could get back there, or any other enemy - we need to get there and help him, and I'm not discussing it," she looked back at Fahrenheit firmly. The Bodyguard was one stubborn gal herself but she knew that there's no reason to argue with June when she made her mind, so she nodded. She was going to go with her anyways, so if something happens, she'll be there to protect her, just as Hancock wanted.  
  
 

♦

  
   
  
Both of them, together with one Goodneighbor guard Fahrenheit brought with them sneaked out of the Sun's clinic since he probably wouldn't be too happy seeing June on her feet, and headed straight to the location. Fahrenheit was worried about June getting back there, after all that happened to her. She saw her when she came to the clinic, blood dripping from her, and then when Sun had to stitch her up for so long... She couldn't imagine what she must have went through. One more reason to go there with her and have her back.  
  
When they got out of Diamon City, June decided to call the Vertibird Railroad still had from the time they infiltrated Brotherhood of Steel. It was best way to quickly get to the location and after everything she did for Raiload, she damn deserved to use it selfishly from time to time.  
  
Upon their arrival to the Scrap Palace, they already saw bunch of dead molerats on the way to the building. They always appeared where fresh corpses were, like damn vultures.  
  
"Hancock can take of himself," Fahrenheit said cautiously as they walked to the door, trying to calm herself down, convincing herself that that damn ghoul is really okay. He had to be. June was quiet, her body tense and mind full of only thing - she had to see Hancock, she had to have him with her, that was all she cared about. She already heard the noises when she walked through the door. Growling, wheezing, snorting. The sounds were... familiar. She knew them. Her body knew them - she tensed and got rady, her instincts going up. Upon finally entering the main room where all of it happened, first she saw dead body of that Super Mutant and at normal situation, it would probably brought all of the memories back, just seeing him but now, he was... totally disfigured, even for Super Mutant. He looked just like big chopped piece of meat.  
  
"Oh shit," June heard Fahrenheit before she turned her gaze further. There he was.  
  
Hancock.  
  
Kneeling above Liam's body, his tricon hat lying on the ground next to him, coat soaked with blood and his hands tirelessly, repeatedly hitting man's body almost like... he was trying to tear him apart with his bare hands. June just stared in shock and her heart stopped beating for a moment. Those sounds... Hancock made them, but those were the sounds ferals made, she knew them.  
  
"No no no," she quickly whispered, shaking her head.  
  
It looked like Hancock went totally and absolutely ballistic. He kept growling and scratching Liam's exposed chest, blood spilling everywhere, his face almost unrecognisable after what Hancock did to him. But he wasn't stopping any time soon, no... June wanted to go closer and talk to him, but when she looked at Hancock's face she... couldn't recognize him. He had blood everywhere, like feeding beast, his mouth was open as he tried to catch his breath, saliva dripping from his chin, and his eyes...  
  
"Fuck..." Goodneighbor guard that was there with them let out shaky breath. "H-He went feral... Hancock went-"  
  
"He didn't!" June blurted out desperately. "D-Did this ever happened before?" she quickly turned to Fahrenheit who was just blankly staring at Hancock, at her friend, at her mentor, at person she respected and cared for... not seeing any of it in him now.  
  
"I... N... No," she tried to keep it together. "Shit. No... This... This isn't good."  
  
"Hancock," she slowly walked closer. There was no way, no way in June's mind she was gonna accept the fact that Hancock went feral. No fucking way. He didn't. That couldn't happen. She was able to take everything, she survived through all that what happened but this... She wasn't gonna let life do this to her! "John. D-Do you hear me?" It almost made her cry when she realized... she's scared of getting closer to him. It was terrifying scene, just seeing Hancock like that. It wasn't even him. It wasn't that charismatic ghoul with that witty, cute smile she saw every morning in bed next to her. No, this... Fuck, this was like those poor ferals, not even people, just hungry, angry, rotting shells. "John, please, listen to me," she held back from sobbing with all her will.  
  
It seemed that he was so damn engrossed in venting his rage on Liam's body that he wasn't even paying attention to her. Only when she made step just few inchest from him, he rapidly moved his eyes to her.  
  
June gasped and quickly stepped back. Her hands were shaking, her whole body was shaking, maybe because of the injuries too but...  
  
"John," she stressed out his name, saying it exactly how she did when she caressed his face and kissed him. He just... looked at her and his eyes were empty, just blackness, no spark, nothing. After a moment that felt like eternity, he turned his face back to the body and continued to tear it apart with all of his force. June breathed out and quickly wiped her tears. This wasn't gonna happen. She wasn't gonna just let him abandon her like that. "I know you're hurting, John," she was bitting her lips while slowly and carefully bending down to him. "I... I'm hurting too." She had to keep herself from completely breaking, now when she was trying to put together him. "I know how much you wanted this..." she reached out with her hands to his shoulder, trying to get ready for him maybe jumping on her when she touches him. "Y-You can't go feral on me. Please, John, I... I know you're strong, you can't leave me here alone, please." Without more hesitating, she just grabbed his shoulder.  
  
He jerked and slowed down his motions, still grunting and growling, not looking at her, but he didn't attacked back.  
  
June hardly swallowed and moved closer to him, until she was leaning against his side, reaching arounds his shoulders with her arms.  
  
"Shhhh," she tried to calm him down in shaky voice. He still hit the body here and there, slowly and tiredly, making occasional animalistic sound but... he seemed to be calming down. "It's okay, John, it's... We're gonna be alright. Just don't leave me, yeah? D-Don't leave me... Please. Please, love," She held him tightly, eventually making it impossible for him to continue hitting the body. She pushed her face on his, holding him and quietly humming, waddling with him like she was putting him to sleep. Which was what she eventually did, as he quieted down after few minutes, just lying in her grip, slightly shaking and quietly whimpering.  
  
When she was sure situation is stabilized, June turned to Fahrenheit with firm look and Guard immediately nodded, knowing exactly what she wants. He had to go home.  
  
 

  
♦

  
   
  
So... the roles switched. June was the one guarding sleeping Hancock now, even through she was still injured herself. She told everyone to leave her alone, just Fahrenheit was allowed into the Old State House, everyone else had to respect her wish and leave her to deal with it alone.  
  
She waited. She watched the clock and forbit herself to sleep until Hancock's awake. She knew he will wake up and be himself again. There was no way in hell he wasn't gonna be himself again. No matter what she knew about ferals, no matter what she saw, she knew Hancock. He was one tough, stubborn son of a bitch and he was going to come back...

June fell asleep after few hours, no matter how hard she tried to keep her eyes open, tiredness won over her and she ended up lying next to Hancock, holding his hand.  


When he finally opened his eyes he felt... like he was waking up from the work drug trip ever. For a moment there, he wasn't able to pierce anything in his mind together. It was all so fuzzy and incoherent, he felt so dizzy and weak like never before. Right after he moved his head slightly, June violently got up with her eyes wide open, looking around panically. When she saw his confused face, she couldn't believe it for a moment and then broke into tears, hugging him tightly and sobbing. Hancock still didn't fully realized what's happening, it took him while to get his bearings.  
  
After short while, memories started to come back to him.  
  
He remembered bursting out of the Diamond City with only goal in his mind, controlled by anger, rage, pain and agony, all fighting in his chest, being blind with lust for revenge. He remembered... killing those molerats in front of the building with his knife like nothing, he remembered standing there and watching dead Super Mutant on the ground with vivid, graphic images of what he did to June before his eyes, with her screams filling his ears. And then...  
  
"John..." He woke up from his thoughts and realized she's sobbing his name as she's still hugging him. Hancock carefully moved his hands to her back, pulling her close.  
  
"H-Hi, Sunshine... How's it goin'...?" he chuckled a little and touched her hair, breathing in her sweet scent. It made him feel at peace, safe. It made him feel so good... "I... I don't... know what happened, J..." The way his voice vibrated with fear made her wanna cry even more. But no, not now. June garthered all of her strenght and moved away from Hancock to face him. He looked so confused, so scared and helpeless. It made her softly pet his cheek with painful smile.  
  
"Y-You... You went back there. Why the fuck did you went back there alone, John?" her bottom lip twitched as she tried to calm down. "Why did you... You're never gonna do this again, you understad?!" she clenched his cheek tightly with dead serious expression in her face. "I almost lost you, you were... y-you almost went feral, John, you... You were almost gone, you almost lost it!"  
  
His eyes widened as she said it. Somehow, even if he didn't remembered anything, something in his chest told him it was true. He felt that primal, wild thing deep inside him, sleeping.  
  
Shit. He almost did. He almost... lost himself.  
  
"I'm so sorry," he withdrew his eyebrows and desperately watched June. "Shit, I'm... so, so sorry, love, I'm so fucking... so damn fuckin' stupid..." he clenched his teeth as he was holding her head, touching his forehead with hears. "I was so angry, I was so damn angry and... he-helpless, there was nothin' I could do for you and that made me so fucking...!"  
  
"I know," June clenched his hands. "I know, I know, I know. It's alright. It's good now, you just... You scared me so much, John. I was so scared, so scared that... you'll just leave me..."  
  
"I won't, I won't, I'm... so fucking sorry. I just wanted to make him pay, make him pay for what he did," Hancock shivered just when he thought about the way he felt when they brough her, weak and injured and broken. "I won't... I won't do it again, I won't leave you ever again." He felt so much pain when he said it. Because he knew he will do anything to hold his promise, but... June will go away, eventually. She will grow old and die. And he'll be alone again. With a hole in him. With his most beautiful, wonderful part missing. "You know how damn much I love you, r-right?" he whispered into her ear with his raspy voice.  


 

"I know," June couldn't help but smile. "And I... I was thinking. You know how you once said that... we should find a way to do this long term?" she said carefully.

Hancock opened his eyes and moved away from June. Yeah, of course he remembered, he... said it long time ago, when he didn't realized how crazy in love he is. He didn't really meant it.

"I... sure, but I... I didn't meant it, June," he looked at her anxiously. "When I said it I didn't really thought about it, it was just something... I never want you to be like this. I mean look at me, I almost... went fuckin' brainless crazy, there ain't way I want you to be like _this_. And if that means... If that means I have to loose you at some point... it's worth knowing you were happy, normal."

"Fuck normal," she took his hands off her, not planning to let his sway her with his puppy eyes and annoying selflessness. "Fuck normal, John. Fuck... looking good and fuck people. Listen, we... we're gonna find a way and we're gonna stay together. It's gonna be two of us and Shaun, our happy little... crazy family. And nobody's gonna have to be alone, alright?" she felt tears coming back, but this was different kind.

"Y-You..." Hancock was qenuinely shocked by her stand. She... Was she serious? There was flame of hope in him he didn't wanted to let burn just so he won't be too dissapointed afterwards. "Are you sure, J?" he asked painfully, tears pushing into his eyes. "You sure you ain't just saying this 'cuz of... you know, everything that happened..."

" _I mean it_ , John," she took his hand and looked in his eyes in a way that made his heart skip a beat. "I'm not gonna lose any other person I care about. Ever."

"Really think about it, love. Are you sure this ugly face won't get on your nerves in few decades?" Hancock nervously smiled, just in the way that was perfectly showing June that yes, she wants to see this goddamn smug face for the rest of her life, no matter how long that's gonna be. Without saying anything, she kissed him.

 

She kissed him so deeply and passionately that it gave Hancock clear answer to his question. No, she wasn't gonna letting him go. They were gonna find a way, somehow, how to turn her ghoul and them... they'll be ghoulin' together, forever.


End file.
